Why Its Good For A Man To Be A Player
November 9, 2009 by Jayde Johanssen
Filed under Online Dating
There are so many negative connotations and generalisations when it comes to dating. Its little wonder people find dating so intimidating at times. If a bloke is too shy to approach a girl he is called “weak”, a guy who has the courage to approach a girl is called a “player”. A girl who shows interest in meeting guys is called “easy”, one who shows no interest is called “frigid”.
These types of label are many and varied and they are a problem. They make you feel like you need to justify your dating decisions. It can go further than that too. They can change your decision making process putting you in situations you don’t want to be in. They can put you off dating altogether.
In this article I want to discuss the term that is being bandied around a fair bit at the moment – the player. I want to focus on the player particularly because of a comment I heard recently. This comment was “Yes, everyone calls him a player, but I don’t understand it. When you ask them, no-one has seen him “playing”.”
I find it very strange that a man who is open to discussing his romantic life, with the intent of learning and improving himself, is labelled a player.
There are different rules for men and women in this regard. It is very acceptable for women to gather and discuss their relationships, learning from each other and offering advice. There are groups of men who do the same, but its very rare and always deliberate. Its not a natural state of affairs for men to gather and communicate like this.
What this means is that women are afforded the luxury of learning about men and dating, through the sharing of experience. Comparatively, men are not. Men by and large must learn as individuals, from their own mistakes.
There are two reasons I can think of that causes this issue. Firstly, there is the concept of “A gentleman never kisses and tells”. Men are indoctrinated by women not to talk about their experiences, all the while the same women are sharing everything. The second is that men tend to be very competitive when it comes to women, which leads to bravado rather than open communication.
This is a big issue. Learning about dating, women and romance through open communication with like minded men will mean you will obtain the knowledge to create a more harmonious dating experience. Its a win-win situation, no-one is worse off. You discuss openly, you learn from the honest sharing of ideas, you become wise and through the application of that wisdom, you create joy. Its important men learn to do this for both themselves and the women they love. Yet strangely, the men who do this already are called “players”.
So, if you are a man and understand exactly what we are saying here, you need to realise that if you are genuinely interested in self improvement in the romantic part of your life, if you want to understand women better and interact with them in a more mutually beneficial way, you are not a player. You are human and you are allowed to discuss this with other men. As long as you are being honest and compassionate to your partner, you are actually doing a good thing.
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How To Date A Partner From A Different Religion
November 3, 2009 by Jayde Johanssen
Filed under Online Dating
One of the reasons dating is often difficult, is that by dating, you are inviting a person into your life with the intent of developing a relationship where this person will influence you and the choices in life you make. This can be a good thing, it can also be a bad thing.
This can be a great thing if you are in a good relationship. In this situation your partner will use their influence to help you be the best person you can. It can be a bad situation though in a toxic relationship. In these situations, your partner can use their influence to manipulate you into behaviours that satisfy their insecurities, guilt or own ambitions.
Culture and religion can be very influential here. Both culture and religion are a framework, or a set of rules, within which its members live their lives. There is often very little room for compromise with these rules. If you do not abide by them, you are not a practising member of that faith/culture. So if you date someone who lives within these structures, the influence and opinion they bring to your life will invariably be tempered by the rules of their faith.
Removing the space for compromise is always counter-productive in the development of a relationship. Compromise and understanding will always be two of the top requirements in the development of any successful relationship.
I am not saying that culture and religion are good or bad here. I am just saying that if you start dating someone from a different religion or a different culture, be aware that this may have an impact on the development of your relationship. Depending on the person, it could enhance it or it could inhibit it. You need to try and understand where you partner is coming from too in this regard, and the influence their faith has had on their lives and life views.
For example, if you are Asian, and/or deeply committed to developing as a person with the ideals of Asian culture, it is probably a very good idea to develop a relationship with a like minded person. Having similar backgrounds in this manner will promote understanding between the two of you and help you develop as a person.
However, if you are not particularly interested in Asian people or culture, it could be difficult to develop such a relationship without understanding or compromise.
Similarly with religion, a devout person of Christian or Jewish faith could be a much better person having a partner of similar faith, helping and supporting them through the matters of conscience particular to those religions. Similar beliefs in matters of sexuality also help in setting boundaries in the early stages of relationships in these cases. This is why religious dating sites also exist.
Matters of the heart rarely work out exactly as we expect though, so often inter-religion relationships occur. To be successful, tremendous understanding is required from both parties in the relationship. Discord often arises when the non-religious partner acts in a manner that, while socially acceptable, may not be within the strictures of the religious partner’s religion. When this happens, for the relationship to be successful, compromise is required from both sides.
It is important to understand that what we have said in this article is not a set of rules, rather some food for thought. Many inter-religion and inter-cultural relationships exist and form every single day and are completely successful. These relationships are successful due to understanding and compromise the partners have of and with each other, just like any other relationship.
Jayde Johanssen understands that christian dating sites serve an important role in bringing christian singles together in harmony and love Click here to get your own unique version of this article with free reprint rights.
Consider Asia’s Diversity Before Joining An Asian Dating Site
October 19, 2009 by Jayde Johanssen
Filed under Online Dating
Asian dating is becoming more and more specialised. This makes sense. Having an Asian dating site is similar in concept to what creating a Caucasian dating site would be. That is, it would attract a mass of people from diverse backgrounds, who sort of have something in common, but don’t really.
The main point of Asian Dating Sites is finding partners that you are attracted to, using their cultural background as a starting point. This is a valid strategy as culture is a massive influence in making people who they are. Culture is a way of living.
The relationships (in all forms of the term) you form in your life define the people who share you way of life. Your culture can define who the people in your life are. The people in your life can define what cultural rules you live your life by.
If this is part of your dating strategy, to be culturally specific, you need to be culturally specific. For example, you may know how to speak Japanese and therefore want to meet Japanese people. But as you do not know how to speak Korean, meeting Korean people does not interest you. This is just an examples to illustrate the point.
For example, a person from India is Asian, but lives in a very different culture than someone from Japan. If you go to an Asian dating site, you will meet both and need to filter through people contacting you from both cultures (not to mention all the other Asian cultures also) So if you are looking for a specific culture, go and join a dating site specific to that culture.
Reflecting this, at Dating Down Under we built the Asian Website reviews to be as helpful as we could. We start with an “Asian” page which is where you can research the broader websites, but then we branch off into the specific cultures within the Asian world. These are for you if you know exactly which culture you are looking for.
Writing the reviews in this manner, we believe gives you the best chance of finding a suitable dating partner. You can either review the broader websites, or drill straight down to the specific culture you are interested in.
So good luck with your search. Finding someone special is not always easy. Remember for greatest success, keep it safe, simple and specific.
Jayde Johanssen is interested in the emerging specialisation of Asian Dating Sites and the ramifications it has on those looking for partners from Asian countries. Get a totally unique version of this article from our article submission service



