How Long Would You Wait Before Being Intimate If You’re in A Relationship?
January 22, 2010 by Matt Fuller
Filed under Online Dating
You’ve just started going out this special person and the mutual fondness is obvious. You’re very keen on this guy or girl but you’re a little cautious as intimacy may wreck everything and the time has come for you to decide what you want from the relationship.
The power of potential intimacy can make the smartest and most influential people make silly choices.
If a guy and girl decide on a non committed relationship with physical component being the main focus of the relationship, then that’s one thing, but, when there is a special connection of the romantic kind, if intimacy is brought into the equation too soon during the relationship, this has the potential to bring down what could have been a wonderful new beginning.
Even though modern times have made it some what more acceptable for women to be openly intimate or expressive, a recent publication and survey in a leading American women’s magazine said that 77% of its respondents were intimate too early on in their relationships with the main motivation being to please their mans needs ahead of their own.
Whether the guy is in it for physical aspect or a long term relationship, he will more often still want a physical and emotional bond either way – generally speaking, but holding off until the right time will win the girl a huge amount of regard from her man in the long run.
For a woman to give in too easily to a mans demands can have consequences that jeopardize the longevity of a potential long term relationship. Whether you believe this is a one sided attitude or not, men will view a women’s resistance to giving into intamacy too easily as a good sign of her character.
Waiting a while before being intimate sends him a positive message that you don’t just become intimate for anybody and in his eyes this makes the girl relationship quality – whether you agree with this way of thinking or not – it’s just the way of the world!
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Keeping The Conversation Alive!
December 30, 2009 by Matt Fuller
Filed under Online Dating
Online dating presents us with the golden opportunity to chat to others before meeting in real life which is an ideal ice breaker as opposed to meeting up as complete strangers and also allows us to gauge compatibility.
Online dating sites can make us think we’re safe in assuming that once we go on the first ‘real’ date, conversation will flow – but not always.
It’s natural to be nervous on a first date – and nerves are the great enemy of easy, natural conversation. So if you already have been chatting to your potential new love online in a singles chat room, then before you head out on that all-important first date, make a mental note of what he or she has told you about themselves.
Conventionally, many first dates take place at a coffee shop, but next time you arrange a date, think outside the square a little. Try a more casual and engaging environment like ten pin bowling or putt putt golf. Go for a bush walk perhaps and stop for lunch in the National Park, try something more interesting than the standard first date coffee shop.
Don’t make the mistake of picking a first date venue that doesn’t offer an interesting or stimulating environment. A busy cafe on the main road hardly presents the opportunity for you to make that vital first impression.
Remember, it’s not all about you, or your date, it’s about both of you being able to equally contribute to the conversation. And if you find that this is in fact happening fairly comfortably, and without too many awkward silences, you may well be onto something! Having met online first can be a big help.
Be forthcoming with who you are as a person, we all love when someone opens up to us, especially on a date when we are trying our best to assess the other persons characteristics – make it easy for your date, show them who you really are.
Keep the topics of conversation light hearted and on mutual ground. Whilst it’s great to have personal views and desires, starting a debate about the politics of current world news is not the best way to offer a worthy first impression.
When you’re talking, end your comments by asking what you’re date thinks on the matter – in other words, draw them in. Avoid monopolizing the talk and ask open ended questions.
Bonny Albo, a writer who has focused on online dating matters, sums up the art of conversation with these words: “Concentrate on adopting your own experiences and interweaving them in with the other individuals answers. By doing so you will be formulating a connection with the individual, producing hooks of information with which to initiate a conversation at a future moment.
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