Help For Troubled Relationships

One of the things about relationships that you can count on is that they will have problems. We all will face relationship troubles during our marriage. You will want different things, you will argue or fight or withdraw in stony silence, you will feel hurt, you may even have thoughts of divorce or separation. It goes with relationship.

Additionally, even though you started deeply in love, love will tend to fade or “settle” over time. The both of you become more familiar to each other, and this changes the feelings of passion between you. Driving a car was very exciting at first, but after a while it become just ho hum. Passion works somewhat similarly. You lose some over the years.

The thing is that there are stages to all intimate relationships. The first stage is the sweetest and most passionate, called the “honeymoon” stage. You want to be together all the time. You think about your partner all the time. Everything seems perfect and you feel so happy and in love. However, the honeymoon stage is not going to last forever. It must pass into the next stage.

Then you move into a phase of me/us. You move out of being so completely merged with your partner and get back to your own needs, goals and interests. You refocus on yourself and how your partner fits into your life. This is completely normal and natural. But at this stage, things like how you leave the toothpaste and the toilet seat up or down can actually begin to irritate you or your partner. If your mate doesn’t seem to respect your interests and friends and desires or vice versa then there will be problems.

Many couples have huge fights and break up at this stage. Accusations of “you don’t love me like you used to” and “why are you being so mean to me?” begin to show up. You each privately wonder where the passion is going and how you can get it back. Men tend to think of leaving and finding another woman where it will be better (it won’t be, the pattern will repeat).

Women wonder where they are going wrong, and if that extra 10 pounds is the big problem (it isn’t). In this phase, you will need to adjust to each other as companions and not as idealized lovers who can do no wrong and whose farts are somehow cute. This is where the work of a relationship begins.

After me and us, there comes the long term companionship stage. Will you be happy together with less passion? Will you have more contentment or more frustration? Will you respect each other and work to live as best friends, or will you feel lost and lonely and like you just have a roommate?

So the stages of relationship are the cause of many relationship troubles. Don’t be stopped or give up just because of these difficulties. Work through these challenges, and you will enjoy the comfort and strength of a long term partner in life.

You can learn much more about this in the report 7 Very Important Relationship Secrets at Relationship Intimacy Help. Joanie S Angel works to provide relationship and social intelligence courses and you can get more here Love Sayings.

Be Sociable, Share!

•