Keeping The Conversation Alive!
December 30, 2009 by Matt Fuller
Filed under Online Dating
Online dating presents us with the golden opportunity to chat to others before meeting in real life which is an ideal ice breaker as opposed to meeting up as complete strangers and also allows us to gauge compatibility.
Online dating sites can make us think we’re safe in assuming that once we go on the first ‘real’ date, conversation will flow – but not always.
It’s natural to be nervous on a first date – and nerves are the great enemy of easy, natural conversation. So if you already have been chatting to your potential new love online in a singles chat room, then before you head out on that all-important first date, make a mental note of what he or she has told you about themselves.
Conventionally, many first dates take place at a coffee shop, but next time you arrange a date, think outside the square a little. Try a more casual and engaging environment like ten pin bowling or putt putt golf. Go for a bush walk perhaps and stop for lunch in the National Park, try something more interesting than the standard first date coffee shop.
Don’t make the mistake of picking a first date venue that doesn’t offer an interesting or stimulating environment. A busy cafe on the main road hardly presents the opportunity for you to make that vital first impression.
Remember, it’s not all about you, or your date, it’s about both of you being able to equally contribute to the conversation. And if you find that this is in fact happening fairly comfortably, and without too many awkward silences, you may well be onto something! Having met online first can be a big help.
Be forthcoming with who you are as a person, we all love when someone opens up to us, especially on a date when we are trying our best to assess the other persons characteristics – make it easy for your date, show them who you really are.
Keep the topics of conversation light hearted and on mutual ground. Whilst it’s great to have personal views and desires, starting a debate about the politics of current world news is not the best way to offer a worthy first impression.
When you’re talking, end your comments by asking what you’re date thinks on the matter – in other words, draw them in. Avoid monopolizing the talk and ask open ended questions.
Bonny Albo, a writer who has focused on online dating matters, sums up the art of conversation with these words: “Concentrate on adopting your own experiences and interweaving them in with the other individuals answers. By doing so you will be formulating a connection with the individual, producing hooks of information with which to initiate a conversation at a future moment.
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