Decisions About Your First Date

So you’ve been chatting on your favorite internet dating site with a terrific guy or gal. It’s been a few weeks since you’ve started communicating and you’re really enjoying yourself. Now it’s time to take things to the next level. You need to decide whether you’re going to meet for coffee or a drink or whether this calls for something a bit more upscale, like dinner.

More to the point, how are you going to decide who pays? Money can be a sore point for some people. Some divorce because of it, others argue about it nonstop, and friendships have been known to end because of it. It’s such a touchy subject that ignites so many emotions. Dating should be fun, so how do you decide?

The answer depends on your comfort level with each other. If you feel talking about money would present an issue, then proceed with caution. Having said that, tradition says that men pay, at least initially. This approach sure makes things easier for both parties and allows you to get to know each other without having to raise the issue of money.

If things continue to go well and you end up in a relationship, then things naturally progress and a fair exchange usually results. Women are just as willing to pay for things as the men they date. However, before getting to that point, these might be a few things to consider.

1. Decide when and where you want to meet

This is crucial on a first date. Women tend to feel more at ease meeting during the day, say for coffee or for lunch, while he might be thinking about a night on the town. Discuss this beforehand and come to a mutually acceptable decision.

2. Where are you going to go?

Once you have decided what time of day you would like to meet, determine what it is you both would like to do? Are you interested in dinner, lunch, going to a museum or perhaps a movie?

3. Discuss dress attire.

What you’ll wear is usually decided by where you’re going. You don’t want to wear you hiking gear to a swanky French restaurant, nor do you want to wear killer heels on the hiking trail. There are enough things to be nervous about on the first date, so don’t make what you’re wearing one of them.

Now that you have decided where to go and when to meet, you can just prepare to allow nature to take its course. It is not absolutely mandatory to discuss who should pay on the first date and the thing to remember is that there will always be enough time to bring money into the picture. Just have fun getting to know one another so that your relationship can be stronger so that when the tough times come around you have a solid foundation to help you through them.

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In Love? Ladies This Is For You

Have you ever known a woman who would ditch her friends for a man? For example: On Monday, she would make plans to go with you to an exhibit and by Friday, the plans were altered because the new guy she met on an internet dating site just happened to call. Being the friend that you are, you always seem to understand and say that it is no big deal.

Unfortunately, deep inside you began to feel a bit neglected and resentful. Mental note ladies; men don’t break plans with the fellas for you, so you might want to think it about it before you cancel plans with your girlfriends for him. Actually, if he cares that deeply about you, he would probably insist that you keep you current plans.

There is a popular policy in business where it’s “first come, first served.” Why can’t it be that way in relationships? If the relationship is strong enough, being with friends every now and then should not tear you apart. It may actually make it stronger because it shows you have a life outside of him. Friends should be just as important as new partner and more than likely you probably have known your friends longer.

While you’re reading this you’re probably saying to yourself that a woman should never let a her friends come between her and her man. Well the flip side of that is true as well; a woman should never let her man come between her and her friends. It’s too bad that we all know someone who’s done that, and we may even be looking at her in the mirror. And when the friends are dropped, all that extra time is spent with the new guy.

This new guy becomes their whole life. Phone calls to friends become a thing of the past. Your chats are no longer needed as she thinks this new man is all she needs. Her work may suffer as well as other parts of her personal life. And you’re thinking “I would never let that happen to me”, but it’s often not a conscientious decision.

Love is supposed to complement who you are. It’s not supposed to leave you brain dead and lose your friends and maybe even your job. If the relationship doesn’t last, you’ll need your friends more than ever. The same people that you don’t have time for now will be the one picking up the pieces when your lover hits the road.

Although your friends may not say it, they probably wanted to confront you all along, but were apprehensive about putting a barrier on the friendship. Most caring friends keep their mouth shut and just listen to the sob story that is entirely of your own making.

If your guy doesn’t understand that you have a life outside of him, which includes your friends, then you simply don’t need him in your life. A women needn’t lose her identity to fall in love and become part of a couple.

This post was developed by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds of helpful dating posts. This and other unique content ” articles are available with free reprint rights.

categories: internet dating,finding a date,dating tips,free online dating,sex,personals,singles,people,relationships,lifestyle,dating

The Romantic Whirlwhind

Even if that has not happened to you, you’ve probably read a book or two, or perhaps you know someone that this has happened to. A head over heels love at first sight meeting. And it didn’t stop there. Oh no! They did something drastic like getting married while riding elephants at the zoo or running away to Brazil. I know, you’re sighing and thinking “that’s so romantic!”. But is it really?

I’m of two minds about this one, probably because I’ve been there. In my younger, yet equally head strong, days, I completely lost it over a man who was 15 years older than me. We’d been dating for just three months when in a flurry of emotion I sublet my amazing apartment, packed my bags and moved in with him.

What happened next was the stuff of nightmares not romantic dreams. He attacked me. Though I’m kind of glib about it now, at the time I felt like my world had fallen apart. Not only was I loveless, I was homeless. And on top of all that, I’d started to doubt my own abilities about feelings and instincts. It happened so suddenly and so intensely it was as though I was watching myself in a movie.

It’s easy now to look back and say that I should have been more careful about would could lie ahead. But considering that I made it out alive, even if I could do things over I’m sure that I would do the same thing again. Putting a buffer on your heart also puts a buffer on the amount of emotion you get to go through. And life is nothing without love and emotion.

The reasoning behind leaping before looking is really not very complicated. You can’t have all the good without risking getting some of the bad. And they don’t sacrifice the good for the sake of saving themselves from the potential bad. Doing otherwise could leave you with nothing more than middle ground. Life’s just too short to not risk some extremes from time to time.

That said, there is another side to this coin. So maybe I really am all about following your heart, even if it’s leading you to some unexpected places off of your chosen path. But there’s a difference between having a chance encounter with someone amazing who ends up being a once-in-a-lifetime, drop everything and go for it lover and being someone who habitually thrives on the drama of falling in and out of love.

Like everything, there are two sides to this debate. Sure, I’m all in favor of following one’s heart, especially if it leads you to some unexpected places away from your chosen path. But there is a world of difference between being someone who has a chance encounter with someone amazing and someone who makes it a habit of thriving on the drama of falling in and out of love.

If it makes some people happy to live like this then that’s all well and good. What isn’t okay is the mess they leave behind when they, once again, pull up stakes. When one sets up a life, others get pulled into that life; friends, coworkers, lovers, neighbors and pets. When the next “soulmate” comes along and they drop everything, they’re leaving a lot of people in their wake who are going to be missing them when they’re gone.

When love does come along quickly and intensely it’s just too good a thing to pass up. If you’ve been around the block a time or two, and add a dollop of good luck, you just might have learned how to protect your life, without having to sacrifice any of the amazing feelings that go along with it.

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Do What You Say

One of life’s most wonderful, and complex, mysteries is Love, with a capital L. Since the beginning of time, the sexes have argued. Men protest that they simply don’t understand the female sex. Women on the other hand claim that men are insensitive. It’s a no win battle. And there is one particular complaint that almost all women have in common.

One thing that has always baffled me about a certain percentage of the male species is their apparent inability to carryout promises that they make. Correction, the inability to follow through with promises that they make to a woman. For example: A guy may tell you that he will call you at a certain time, and more than likely he has no intention call you at all. In addition, he may also state that he will come by to see you at a specific time, or make plans with you to do something, and when the time does come he is nowhere to be found.

The mystery surrounding this apparent lack of sensitivity is really quite puzzling not to mention annoying. The more curious and inquisitive women will demand to know why. Others just stew in silence, but they stew nonetheless. All differences between the sexes aside, there is no excuse for this apparent lack of sensitivity.

Does it all come down to the fact that having to let a woman know they’re running late or have had a change of plans remind them of having to report to their mothers when they were little? Well here’s a news flash for the fellows; it has nothing to do with wanting to know where you are twenty four hours a day. Rather, it’s simple concern. We worry when you don’t call as expected.

Any men who might be reading this would probably say that women nag or bitch, when in fact they know that women’s comments on this matter are justified. They know that what women are saying applies to them; they’re guilty as charged.

We’re all familiar with the phrase “the truth hurts”. It’s true, the truth can hurt, and it hurts just as much when a man promises to do one thing and then turns around and does the exact opposite. How can men honestly believe that that’s okay? It goes to the question of respect. If you’ve ever been stood up, regardless of your sex, you know how painful this is.

Good relationships begin with trust and honesty. This means that when involved with someone no matter on what level, love or friendship you should try never to hurt their feelings on purpose. Realistically we know that all relationships have problems, but why create something that is not there?

So fellas, take this advice: A phone call, an email, a text or visit as promised is wonderful. It would be nice to know if we could count on it. Remember however, if you are not able to make it, let the lady know. This small precaution will demonstrate to her that she is in fact important to you. It may even prohibit you from losing what could be the most important thing in your life.

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Getting Back Into Dating

So, you’ve recently come out of a long term relationship and you’ve decided it’s time to start anew. You’re going to date! Congratulations! Have you thought about your strategy? Are you going to let your friends set you up with someone, are you going to dive into the bar scene, or perhaps you’re considering internet dating?

Most people who come out of a long term relationship are not ready to start dating right away. They usually take some time away from dating to gather their thoughts. While taking a break, you might want to give some thought to how you’re going to get back into the social scene.

If in fact you have made the decision to date keep reading for more tips;

1. Be willing to try something new so that you may meet new people at places that you perhaps excluded in the past. If you have never been to a certain venue or new neighborhood, why not take a chance and experience something new. Go to some of the political rallies, free concerts and free networking events. It is a great place to meet singles and support something that you believe in. Right away you and the person that you meet have one thing in common.

2. You have nothing to lose but a few hours by agreeing to go on a blind date. If a friend, a family member or a co-worker suggest setting you upon a blind date with this terrific guy/gal that they know, let them! Sometimes others know what you need, even if you don’t.

3. Faith draws people together. No matter what your faith, consider attending religious services. You’d be surprised at the number of single people there! Instead of just attending services, become an active participant by mentoring kids, or attending a study group.

4. Economic times being what they are, charitable organizations like your local food bank are always looking for volunteers. So put your do gooder skills to work. You’ll have the chance to meet a whole new group of people.

5. If you like to take chances, frequent the personal ads on dating sites. If you happen to set up a date using this medium, make sure you meet them in a public place!

6. Go out with a group of friends or co-workers and have a good time. This can boost your confidence and people are attracted to confident people. For instance: You and a few co-workers may go out after work for Happy Hour. Note: You always seem to find something when you’re not looking for it. This also applies in love.

Starting afresh in the dating world can feel risky but once you take the plunge chances are you’ll have fun. Just because you had a broken heart yesterday doesn’t mean there is no paradise! Sure, you make take a few wrong turns in the road, but once you get to your destination, those wrong turns will have been worth it.

This article was developed by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds of professional dating articles. You are welcome to reprint this article – but get your own unique content version here.

Taking A First Trip With Your Significant Other

You met your new sweetie on an internet dating site. After months of dating you’ve reached the point where you want to take your first trip together. You’re no novice to travelling; you’ve travelled in the past with friends and family.

In each instance, it has always been pretty bearable, so going on a trip with your significant other should totally be a breeze. In fact, just the thought of traveling together seems like tons of fun. One thing to remember is that we all travel differently so there are a few things to consider when going on a trip with your partner.

First and foremost you need to decide on a destination. For some this means going anywhere tropical as long as there’s beach and a bar. Others aren’t into the heat and prefer going someplace cooler; perhaps taking in some skiing. If you and your sweetie are at opposite poles as far as destination is concerned, you’ve got some talking, and some compromising to do.

When are you going to take your trip? Next week, next month or next season? You may each have different ideas about when the best time to take a trip is.

Third, you have to decide how much time to take. This is significant because both people may not have the same amount of time off. For example: Have either of you just started a new job recently? As we know, in most cases we have to be on a new job for at least 6 months before taking a vacation.

Once these details have been ironed out and you both embark on your travel, the next thing to think about is your vacation styles. There are people who want to spend every waking moment visiting every site and tourist attraction available, while others like to relax. They figure the reason they took the time off was to relax and rejuvenate.

Contrasting vacation styles will clash, and the last thing you want to do on your first vacation with your partner is cause each other frustration. If you have different styles you can still get in the things that are important to each of you with a bit of compromise. Remember, it’s not necessary to spend every waking hour together.

If you can agree to take turns doing the things that each of you enjoy, you’ll have a mutually satisfying time. A couple’s first trip together should be a fun and exciting time. And it will be, provided you talk about your expectations beforehand.

This post was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read thousands of helpful dating posts. This and other unique content ‘internet dating’ articles are available with free reprint rights.

Reconciling With Your Ex

Whenever I break off a relationship I go into a “they don’t exist anymore” mode for a while. This gives me the time I need to cry, eat chocolate and gain weight, lose that weight, cry some more and curse them to hell and back. Then and only then can I make peace with the pig, err, I mean, that wonderful person who I don’t want anymore.

Okay, it’s not a perfect system. Another reason I do this ignoring dance is to give myself ample opportunity to work through the “I want him back” feelings. Because I don’t usually give up without a fight so if we broke up for real, chances are there was a really good reason why.

This doesn’t work for everyone. During the ignoring and grieving time, some people come to the realization that what they really want is their partner back! This can be a tricky proposition, and you have to realize that sometimes it’s going to be impossible.

What are you reasons for wanting him or her back?

The “I want him/her back” feelings mentioned a few paragraphs back can be really frustrating. They play on your heartstrings and lead to you making all kinds of excuses for the problems the two of you were experiencing prior to the breakup. Now’s the time to be brutally honest with yourself. If loneliness or sadness is behind the “I want him/her back” feelings, forget about it; it’s never going to work. If you’ve had a genuine change of heart, that’s a different matter altogether.

Take some cooling off time

The fact is you broke up. Even if your super confident that your ex will welcome you back no questions asked, you both just went through an emotional roller coaster. It’s all fine and dandy that you want to patch things up, but you need to take however many days or weeks you need to lick your wounds. You want to start with a clean slate and you’ll both need mended hearts to do so.

Stay calm

Another good reason for giving yourself some time to cool off is to give your emotions a chance to settle before you start your reconciliation talks. He or she has had time to really miss you and you want to present your best and your calmest front, not the crying, screaming weepy mess you were a few weeks ago.

When you see each other again you want to be at your best. Actually, if you want to get back together, you want to be at your super best! The sad, unhappy person you were the last time you saw each other is not who you want to be. That persona will only bring back all that break up drama.

Get ready

You also need to get ready and be prepared for any reaction from your ex. The answer might be yes, it might be no. If it’s a yes, they want you back too, you need to be prepared to follow through on whatever promises you make. Whether it’s quitting smoking or seeing a shrink or learning how to cook. If you’re not absolutely sure about this beforehand, then don’t even bring it up.

If there’s a possibility of a no, brace yourself! It all depends on the circumstances of the break up, and the two people involved. If you do get shot down for round two, keep your composure. Remember, you’ve already survived a few weeks on your own, so don’t let this turn down get you down!

This article was developed by the staff of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can read hundreds of helpful dating articles. You are welcome to reprint this article – but get your own unique content version here.

Flying Solo

Now that I’ve turned 34 I’ve started to ask myself some very difficult questions, most of which are relationship related. Things like whether or not I plan to get married or even start dating again. Am I happy in my career, do I want to have a baby; things like that. The answers I came up with have led to some changes in the way I live my life

Don’t misunderstand me; I love men. They’re gorgeous works of art that provide countless hours of fun and excitement. But when I’m going it alone, I’m quite happy and in all honesty, I’m at my best. It seems when I have a relationship with a man, I lose a bit of myself and in turn I lose my happiness. Whether that’s down to the guy or to me I’m really not sure.

I haven’t always felt like this. I started dating when I was 17 and had my first real boyfriend when I was 20. I’ve always wanted a career and I wanted to get married. Like many women, the plan was college, career, marriage and then two kids. At least the career part of the plan worked out!

Suffice it to say that my dating life has been one Mr. Wrong after another. Wrong for me, not wrong in general. I’ve tried internet dating, blind dates, the club and bar scene, networking events. Heck, there isn’t an avenue that I’ve left unexplored in my quest to meet a guy.

And even though I had a lot of fun along the way and met some really terrific people, the roller coaster ride of highs and lows was beginning to wear. Yes, youth is about having fun, but as I began to mature, that fun wasn’t so much fun anymore; it was more like a noose around my neck.

I had no idea that adult life would sneak up on me, but it did. I guess paying rent and other bills may have contributed to this change in attitude. I no longer found it cute when my boyfriend came home wasted or when he flirted with other women while sitting across the table with me.

After much though, I’ve decide to retire my number. This gal is going solo and grow old gracefully, if alone. Not having to share a bed has its ups and downs; no one to hog the covers, but no one to sex it up with either. I guess that’s what specialty catalogues and AA batteries are for!

All in all I love myself. No more worries about unfaithful guys or reminders about how pretty I used to be. I have wonderful friends, a great career; in other words, I have a full life as it is. However, that doesn’t mean an occasional steamy affair is out of the question! My single days are starting to look better already, at least for the time being.

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Don’t Let Facebook Ruin Your Relationship

I have friends all over the world and I keep in touch with them via Facebook. Recently I viewed a video that one of them had posted called ” Don’t Let Facebook Ruin Your Relationship”. While it was funny, it was also kind of sad.

As the couple in the video ranted and raved about each other’s Facebook activity and who they “talked” to, it became clear that they each spent a considerable amount of time checking up on each other. Perhaps they were worried that their partner was involved in internet dating or something similar.

After watching the video, it had me thinking about something. While social networking is fun and you can get back in touch with old friends and colleagues that you may have lost touch with, has it gone too far with privacy issues?

Along with this video, there have even been instances where an employee posted a rant about their boss on their social page and unfortunately the boss saw it and the person was soon dismissed from their job. So not only are people getting in trouble with their relationships, but some are getting trouble on the job and even losing their jobs.

Now I cannot say this is all the fault of social networking sites. We all have to have common sense when posting sensitive information. You cannot flirt with someone else on your page knowing that your partner might see it. As well, it might not be a good idea to say you hate your boss and post it for the world to see.

Let’s face it, some things just shouldn’t be said on a social networking site. If people need a reminder of that, perhaps sites like Facebook could post a disclaimer or a reminder. Though I don’t imagine it would do much good; some people just don’t know when to shut up!

The fact is that social networks are nothing more than a means of communication. Judging by the number of people that belong to them they’re a very successful communication medium. But that’s all they are; a means to an end.

You can even network and maybe land a job by talking to the right person at the right time. One thing to keep in mind is that these sites are not called social networking sites for nothing. The same social etiquette you use when meeting people in person apply online. Don’t allow your frustration or curiosity while social networking to ruin your career or your love life.

This post was developed by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find thousands more helpful dating posts. This and other unique content ” articles are available with free reprint rights.

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