Once a Cheater Always a Cheater? The Surprising Truth Behind Affairs

You have likely heard the phrase before:

“Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

Is this familiar bit of love advice true? If your man cheats on you, is he destined to cheat again?

Some people, perhaps your own pals, will recommend that you leave your man if he ever cheats on you. They’d tell you that he did not value the relationship or marriage, so he obviously does not love you or care about you.

But before you write off your spouse or boyfriend and join the scores of jaded and resentful women that believe “all men are dogs” or other such common beliefs, consider this:

Most affairs don’t occur just because the person is a fraudulent piece of scum. It’s much more complicated than that.

Affairs are essentially the result of a broader problem in your relationship. If you guy cheated on you it’s because he wasn’t getting one of his needs met in some shape in your relationship.

I am not just talking about physical desires here, either. It might be emotional too. Perhaps he didn’t feel respected, maybe he did not feel appreciated, maybe he didn’t feel loved.

When a person goes around with unmet wants from his relationship, he’s a prime target for an affair. All it takes is one woman to walk into his life who makes him feel good, and before you know it, he begins to develop feelings for her. And it’s merely a dangerous slope from an infatuation to an affair.

Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying, he ultimately made the choice to cheat. I’m not blaming you by a long shot. But if you want to have a successful relationship, either with him or with someone else, you are going to have to understand what failed in this relationship.

If you simply end it and stroll off blaming him for cheating and leaving it at that, you’re missing a compellin opportunity to learn and grow. Take this as a chance to take accountability for what you did to make a contribution to the affair. What did you do or not do that at last drove him to cheat?

If you don’t take care of this, you will be doomed to relive the same scenario again and again again with him or with other men in future relationships.

So , going back to the old saying: “once a cheater, always a cheater,” is it true?

It actually depends. If you can have a look at your relationship and understand specifically what occurred and what desires went unmet that finally caused the affair, you can change things.

If your husband or lover begins to get his needs met, you may be shocked to find out just how dependable he will be. It’s not straightforward to learn and change your relationship, nonetheless it definitely can occur.

So , I strongly urge you take the time to look at your relationship and not simply just brush him off as a cheater without taking a look beneath the surface.

If you found this helpful and you’d like to learn more, please check out my Dr Gunzburg’s Marriage Sherpa on the webstie Why Do Men Cheat.

How to Rebuild Trust in Your Relationship After an Affair

I’m sure that it can be difficult healing your marriage after an affair. One of the most serious problems that needs to be addressed is the issue of trust. If your man cheated on you, it is not unusual to feel that you can’t trust him or uncertain if he will be able to cheat again. But here I want to share one or two tips that will help you revive the trust in your relationship and get your relationships back on the path to success.

Transparency Explained – I have said before that transparency is the key to restoring the trust in a relationship, but what precisely does this mean? Simply put , transparency is information about you and your thoughts that you freely offer to your partner. This is information that the other person does not need to ask for, beat around the bush about, or in any other way work to get out of you. This is just what’s on your mind at any particular moment.

This is a two-way street too. You and your husband will need to agree to start practicing transparency. It cannot just be one of you otherwise it may come to feel just like a punishment for the affair. True healing isn’t about guilting or punishing your spouse for cheating, but rather about rising above the pettiness of getting even and developing a relationship that works.

Being Transparent – If, as an example, you needed to go out with your friends for dinner after work, you would simply tell your partner this as an act of transparency. If your partner has questions on where you are going or who will be there, openly and instantly offer up any details. Remember, that you’ve got nothing to hide , so you should not have any issues with explaining or elaborating.

Being Transparent as Equals – Remember again that the purpose of transparency isn’t to embarrass your partner or to keep him on a shorter leash so as to punish him. Transparency is an act of respect. This shouldn’t turn into a game of asking for permission to do something.

The two of you are married and share a life together. It is respectful to let each other know what you do so that the other can plan appropriately. Things will go a lot smoother if you tell your partner that you are meeting some friends after work so that he knows not to surprise you with your favorite dinner tonight.

This is really just about basic communication and shouldn’t be seen or used as a kind of power play or a way to “keep and eye on” your unfaithful partner out of distrust.

By employing this code of transparency in your relationship, your relationship will begin to improve. This may seem like apparent information , but for many that were raised in dysfunctional families or have trouble communicating and sharing their wants, this is a straightforward practice that may help in bringing you and your spouse closer together.

If you found this helpful and you’d like to learn more about how to trust after an affair, please check out the website Why Do Men Cheat on Their Wives.

How To Get My Ex Back Again If He Wants More Space

Almost everyone has experienced a powerful relationship in their life, when suddenly everything which seems so perfectly is broken off because your boyfriend wants space. Family problems or a fear of commitment are two common reasons why someone may want more space and break off a relationship. Here are a few bits of advice for you if your boyfriend or girlfriend ends up saying they need more space.

- You are not going to want to lose your pride, or to allow him to get the best of you – But clearly you are still in love with him. It is a good idea to play kinda hard to get in the beginning; this way you reveal to your former lover that it really was their lose, and you are ok without them.

- Eventually he will begin to show significant interest in you again if all goes well, and this will give you the chance to truly begin to reminisce with him. Keep in mind that you should focus primarily on all of the good memories associated with your relationship in the past. When you are staying positive with him and rekindling those romantic feelings, he will soon want to restablish the relationship.

-But, there is the chance that he won’t respond to your subtle advances. It may be because he truly has lost interest in you, or he needs some serious space. Continue to gradually advance on him if he does show signs of warming up to you.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. I can’t take credit for these tips. T ‘Dub’ Jackson, a relationship author, gave me these good insights.

They came from his short book, “The Magic of Making Up”. And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

The Magic of Making Up has helped thousands of couples rebuild their relationships. At the Magic of Making Up review you can get a FREE sneak peek inside the best-selling relationship book. You will be surprised how easy it is to get back with your ex!

Panacea For The Malady Of Failing Marriages

Those who find themselves in a failing marriage with no hope for redemption and no saving grace to look forward to would have already tried everything to make the relationship work. There is however no harm in trying something fresh and new and with a lot of positive attributes attached to itsuch as the book Save My Marriage Today.

Amy Waterman’s six day course Save My Marriage Today, helps couples overcome the difficulties and differences in marital life and rid it of any discord. Hundreds of people around the world have testified to the positive contributions that the course has made in their lives. Even happily married couples confess to the fact that the course helped them to add more spice and make their relationship healthier and stronger.

Most counseling programs or self help marriage guides require the participation of both partners and their commitment towards saving the marriage. In the case of Save My Marriage Today, no such requirement is there. All that the author asks is for at least one of the partners to be committed to the cause. Even a possible indifference or lack of willingness to help on the part of the spouse need not be a hurdle in stopping your marriage plummet down the cliff of divorce. The book also rids people of popular misconceptions about what to do and what not to do to fledge a declining marriage. It shatters some popular myths surrounding so called sound advices rendered by old relatives and friends.

Save My Marriage Today reviews the various possible conundrums that most relationships find themselves in, including such serious ones as falling out of love with your spouse or cheating issues and infidelity, lack of communication, ego hassles and also gives practical solutions on how to handle all of them and help turn ones marriage around.

The course also enumerates various practical solutions to overcome all these mentioned problems and more and help salvage a declining marriage and prevent divorce. The course also helps dispel myths surround popular advices from parents and friends and even marriage counselors. For example it says that begging your partner for a second chance or pleading with your partner to save the marriage always works to the detriment of the marital relationship. The solutions include ways to fall back in love with your spouse after feeling completely out of love or the different methods to employ to make your spouse fall in love with you again and also stresses on the importance of communication.

Though there are umpteen number of testimonials professing the worth of the product and how effective it was for a particular individual or couple, the author asks us not to take anything at face value. The sixty day trial offer for trying out the various suggestions and methodologies contained in the book after which, if you don’t find it to your satisfaction, you are entitled to a full refund, smacks of credibility and confidence in the product and its ability to salvage marriage without doubt. The course also comes cheap compared to sessions of marriage counseling, each session costing you thrice as much as the cost of the course.

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