Why Its Good For A Man To Be A Player

There are so many negative connotations and generalisations when it comes to dating. Its little wonder people find dating so intimidating at times. If a bloke is too shy to approach a girl he is called “weak”, a guy who has the courage to approach a girl is called a “player”. A girl who shows interest in meeting guys is called “easy”, one who shows no interest is called “frigid”.

These types of label are many and varied and they are a problem. They make you feel like you need to justify your dating decisions. It can go further than that too. They can change your decision making process putting you in situations you don’t want to be in. They can put you off dating altogether.

In this article I want to discuss the term that is being bandied around a fair bit at the moment – the player. I want to focus on the player particularly because of a comment I heard recently. This comment was “Yes, everyone calls him a player, but I don’t understand it. When you ask them, no-one has seen him “playing”.”

I find it very strange that a man who is open to discussing his romantic life, with the intent of learning and improving himself, is labelled a player.

There are different rules for men and women in this regard. It is very acceptable for women to gather and discuss their relationships, learning from each other and offering advice. There are groups of men who do the same, but its very rare and always deliberate. Its not a natural state of affairs for men to gather and communicate like this.

What this means is that women are afforded the luxury of learning about men and dating, through the sharing of experience. Comparatively, men are not. Men by and large must learn as individuals, from their own mistakes.

There are two reasons I can think of that causes this issue. Firstly, there is the concept of “A gentleman never kisses and tells”. Men are indoctrinated by women not to talk about their experiences, all the while the same women are sharing everything. The second is that men tend to be very competitive when it comes to women, which leads to bravado rather than open communication.

This is a big issue. Learning about dating, women and romance through open communication with like minded men will mean you will obtain the knowledge to create a more harmonious dating experience. Its a win-win situation, no-one is worse off. You discuss openly, you learn from the honest sharing of ideas, you become wise and through the application of that wisdom, you create joy. Its important men learn to do this for both themselves and the women they love. Yet strangely, the men who do this already are called “players”.

So, if you are a man and understand exactly what we are saying here, you need to realise that if you are genuinely interested in self improvement in the romantic part of your life, if you want to understand women better and interact with them in a more mutually beneficial way, you are not a player. You are human and you are allowed to discuss this with other men. As long as you are being honest and compassionate to your partner, you are actually doing a good thing.

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